Sex, Love and PCOS
| Is PCOS straining your marriage? |
| Is PCOS straining your marriage? Unwanted body hair, acne, unexplained weight gain, irritability, never knowing when you’ll get your period – all of this can strain a marriage. You might not feel attractive anymore and believe that your partner feels the same. Maybe you look in the mirror and cry. You’re shaving your chin daily, starving yourself one day but binging the next precisely because you’re miserable. You’re depressed by the way you look and feel, terrified that you’ll never have a family. Demoralized by the diagnosis of a chronic condition, all of this is causing problems with your beloved. Your anxiety about your relationship or looking professional for work is through the roof and it’s keeping you up at night. And speaking of being up at night, sex may be the last thing on your mind, but you know that at a bare minimum, ‘timed intercourse’ is necessary. Unfortunately, studies show that women with PCOS and especially those struggling with fertility have lower rates of sexual function and satisfaction as well as lower rates of marital satisfaction. Add to all of this the stress and the heartbreak of another negative pregnancy test and the results can be devastating. Research shows that the divorce rate among infertile couples is as much as 3 times higher than in the general population. This is serious and it’s not OK. According to Dr. Felice Dunas, Ph.D., one of the world’s leading experts on sex and fertility and author of several books, “There are real benefits to being given an infertility diagnosis, something holy, sacred, divine. There is grace in the process. Where is the patient going to end up? They have a choice to grab onto their lives and change. It’s a turning point…. You can grab a hold of yourself or you can let go of yourself.” She teaches us how to seize the opportunity of the struggle, to deepen our relationships, enhance and improve communication, to come out stronger on the other side. By reinvesting in the relationship you already have, by not letting the love get lost, your union can become deeper and stronger, more resilient and with more respect for each other and for life. Allowing the diagnosis of PCOS to take over your life and damage your relationships is giving it way too much power. That power is yours to direct how you see fit. Don’t let it control you. What can you do about it? A few strategies to help you and your partner navigate the stress of a health diagnosis and a fertility struggle include: -Get both of you educated. Read these blog posts together. Do research together. Go to medical appointments with each other. This is a team effort. You’re stronger together. -Ask your partner to make the same lifestyle changes that you want to make for yourself. Get them on some supplements and go for walks as a couple. Get them involved in meal planning and cooking together. Learn a new outdoor activity together like bicycling, rollerblading or kayaking. -Ask for the time and space that you need in order to digest the new information you’re gathering. Learn and practice new communication skills like active listening and asking for clarification. Let your partner know what they can do to support you. There are many strategies to help couples to keep their love alive through a stressful diagnosis or a struggle with fertility. Recognizing the stress that it’s putting on you both, is the first step. A broad, holistic view of yourself, your body, mind and spirit, your relationships and even your community is part of what will help you get your family started. To begin exploring this bigger picture, consider adding acupuncture to your overall strategy. Call or text Float Euphoria at 509-940-1888 to schedule an appointment today. |
